God often chooses to teach me lessons through my kids. These little people, who are growing so fast that I can barely keep up, often reflect the image of their Creator in a way that takes my breath away. Last night I took the girls for a hair cut and Isabel, who had been growing out her long, thick hair for a year just so she could donate it, was so completely ecstatic that today was finally the day!!!!! She was so excited to bless someone who is fighting cancer that she didn't even flinch when they cut off not one, but two 9" pigtails. Check it out:
It was a long day. After a long week. At the end of May when we're all ready for it to just. be. summer. already!!! Matt was working late, the girls came home from school and each had a meltdown within minutes, our three year old woke up from her nap all kinds of crabby and then proceeded to pee all over the bed. For the second time today. So I sent the older girls outside to play and as I'm trying to clean up our house, which seemed to have imploded overnight, Sofi comes in shrieking that she has a tick. Second one in a week. Usually I can remove them, but this one was a stickler, so off to urgent care we went. Sofi was hysterical (thank God for her Grandma who is a nurse and can calm the girls down in a "medical emergency" which usually ranges from scraped knees, to, well, ticks). We come home, I throw dinner together (I don't cook, in case you forgot so when I put food on the table it's like a small miracle). Finally, it's bath and then bedtime. I could feel myself chugging along, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..." And then it hit. Bombaloo. What? You've never heard of Bombaloo? It's based on a book, entitled Bombaloo in which a little girl, who is normally sweet and well behaved turns into a temper tantrum throwing terror. One of my girls, I won't say which one, went totally Bombaloo. Crying, shrieking, screaming like the world was surely ending. I couldn't even tell you why it started but once it did, I could swear the walls started to shake. Of course the windows were open and our neighbors who were sitting outside got some entertainment with their dinner. So I brought the bedtime routine to an abrupt halt and sent her to bed. I found my best Love and Logic (another fav parenting book of mine) voice and said "I'm sorry but you've used up all of my energy and I won't be able to help you shower and get ready for bed tonight. Hopefully we'll be able to do it in the morning." Ok, don't be impressed - my calm collected voice was sandwiched by a frustrated rant and a couple of ridiculous threats (ie: I'm going to have you call your father!!!!!... despite the fact that he is in a meeting and probably won't even answer the phone). And off to bed she went, kicking and screaming. Literally. My kids have this thing, where they will sit in their beds weighing their desire or need or whatever to get out of bed to just to see my face/hear my voice against the impending consequence of that action. It's both flattering and incredibly annoying. Seriously, they will walk out of their room, face the consequence of their disobedience, and act like it's totally worth it. So my hysterical, Bombaloo, banished to her room daughter comes out not just once, but twice to try to pay penance for her bad behavior. The first time she offered me a dollar - "please, mom, I'm sorry and I want you to take this." Nothing asked for in return, just some sort of peace offering because she just hates to get into trouble (not enough to not get in trouble in the first place, though). So I told her that she could show she's sorry by going to bed. And then staying there. A few minutes pass and she's back out (still crying hysterically, by the way), this time trying to give me her candy bar, which she bought with her own money and has stashed away for some wonderful occasion. She's standing there, crying and begging me to just take the candy, and I hear myself saying, "I don't want your candy, I want your obedience." And that's when it hit me - that's all God wants from me as well.
How many times do I do the same thing my daughter was trying to do - giving God what I want to give Him instead of giving Him what He asks: my obedience. I can think of several times over this past week even, as I've looked at what God is calling me to do, and I've said to myself "this is too much. It's too hard. If I could just do this instead..." God says "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1) and I answer, "I think it would be better if I helped you out, moved things along a bit, made a Plan B." God says "...be patient in affliction" (Romans 12:12) and I respond, "of course, but let me just chart out the course I'll be following in the meantime." God says to "Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7) and I reply "in a moment, or after I spend a few nights tossing and turning and wallowing in self-pity." God says "Give thanks in all circumstances..." (1 Thess. 18) and I pout "if only I had ______ then I would be really thankful for it!" God commands "If you love Me, you will obey what I command" (John 14:15) and I pretend I'm not sure what He means, and offer up my favorite candy bar in return.
I really did appreciate my daughter's giving heart, as she tried to offer me that candy bar. I didn't turn her down because I was rejecting her gift, or because I didn't appreciate her love for me. The lesson she needed to learn, however, was obedience. If she had simply obeyed, she would have felt far less pain, avoided a great deal of frustration, and in the end, felt the comfort of what she really needed - forgiveness. I hurt when she hurts, but as her mom I know that some lessons must be learned even if they're difficult. Scripture paints the picture of a Heavenly Father who also hurts when we hurt. But because He loves us, He will allow the pain we incur as a result of our disobedience - He won't give up on us when there is an important lesson to be learned. He'll continually put us on paths that stretch and strengthen us and mold us into His likeness. And sometimes He'll use our children to teach us a lesson along the way. My takeaway: eat the candy bar, give God your obedience instead.
Take a moment to examine your heart and life - in what areas is God asking for your obedience? In what areas are you withholding your obedience and offering God something else instead?
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